The phrase “we are like a family here” often asks employees for a kind of loyalty the organization cannot return.

A family relationship is not normally conditional on a quarterly plan. Employment is. A company can change direction, remove a role, or decide that a person's performance does not meet its needs. Pretending otherwise does not make the relationship kinder. It makes its boundaries harder to discuss.

Most people already have families. What they need from work is trust, fair expectations, useful feedback, good colleagues, and the ability to do meaningful work without surrendering the rest of their lives.

A professional team is a better model

Netflix describes itself as a professional team, and the metaphor is more honest. A team has a purpose, roles, standards, and a responsibility to help its members perform. It also accepts that a role and a person may stop being the right fit.

Clarity does not remove care. Managers should give people context, support, specific feedback, and a fair opportunity to improve. They should also act when a mismatch continues. Leaving someone indefinitely in a role where they cannot succeed is not loyalty.

The same standard applies to the organization. It should keep its commitments, make decisions consistently, and tell people where they stand. Employees should be able to set boundaries and leave when the work no longer fits without being accused of betraying a family.

A professional relationship can include friendship and deep mutual respect. It does not need the family label to justify either.

The culture required for this model depends on candour. I describe the practical side in Honesty establishes trust.

This article first appeared as a LinkedIn post.